Tag Archive: writing


Random Excuse Generator

excuse generator

Conversational Writing

A teacher, once said, that, I overused commas. What she didn’t understand, at all, was that, I was writing, like Christopher Walken, speaks…

Graffiti Grammar

The Importance of Punctuation, Part 2

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. “Hey!” shouts the manager. “Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”

The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!”

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: “A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

The Importance of Punctuation

The placement of punctuation can alter the meaning of a sentence significantly. Take this example. Add punctuation and capitalization to the following sentence:

 

a woman without her man is nothing

 

The most common, and culturally male-centric, finished sentence would look like this:

 

A woman, without her man, is nothing.

 

However, differently punctuated, we can get very different meanings:

 

A woman: without her, man is nothing.

or,

A woman without; her man is nothing.

Got Milk?

When English teachers snap…

Ancient Grammar Police

Non Sequitur, by Wiley:

A good friend suggested this one, as these three words are frequently mixed up.

 

Assure means to put one’s mind at ease:

He assured the police officer that he wouldn’t be speeding anymore.

~~~~~

Ensure means to guarantee:

Having an evacuation list will ensure that you are prepared for an emergency.

~~~~~

Insure means to provide or obtain insurance for something:

This policy will insure your house against fire.

By The Associated Press: